Friday, December 31, 2004

So Sweet

This guy I worked with gave me a lottery ticket for the mega millions for New Years.

It really is the sweetest gift ever.

You're so jealous; don't tell me you aren't.

I'm not a geek, you're a geek!

I just pre-ordered the new Harry Potter from It's not coming out until July. And despite my sister's suggestion, I will NOT be joining my local D&D interactive playgroup.

New Years Eve at work

I'm totally up in here in jogging pants today. I barely slapped on any makeup but at least I'm clean.

The funny thing is, I saw Carla walk by and she's in jogging pants, too. However, she's a size zero and her jogging pants are Juicy so needless to say, she looks a lot more sassy than me in my plus size Wal-Mart specials.

Thursday, December 30, 2004

You know who you are

Hey fucking whore? I know that you and I are supposed to be friends but I'm god-damned tired of you trying to judge and censor me. Yes, I busted our mutual friend out to the rest of our department about his enthusiasm for cleaning the kitchen when none of the rest of us are going to participate, but I TOLD him that I was going to bust him out, so how is that a bad thing? It's not like I'm talking behind his back, I'm talking to his god-damned face. I'm feeling extra hostile because I'm PMS'ing right now and it's taking all of my self control not to stab you in the forehead with a pair of scissors, but I'm resisting the urge.

Do not condescend to me you fucking asshole, I will fuck you up.

Hugs and kisses,



I've decided that I am unhealthily obsessed with the following:

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Irate Email pt. 2

OH! Did I tell you that our management has now decided that we should take turns to clean the kitchen (see attached email). I lost my sh*t. I mean, literally. To the point where my extra-sensitive female boss was almost crying. Because I'm not going to do it. Even though I'm scheduled first, I'm not going to do it. Which I told them right off the bat.

Antonette agrees with me totally; bad thing is, she's not here to support me but she will be next week.

Me: "What I look like, f*ckin' Hazel?!?!!"
Antonette: "F*ck them b*tches; I ain't gonna clean sh*t and if they try to make me, I'll get myself a f*ckin' lawyer".
Me: "Word"

Actually, I never said the "word" part, but I did say the "Hazel" line of which I am very proud.

Things that make me fear for our country

Check out the spelling errors. I can't believe that this is the country we live in, and that people actually feel this way. It makes my skin crawl...

Email to my sis

The fuzzy socks that mom gave us are AWESOME. I'm wearing them right now, and they are the best socks I've ever had in my entire life. My feet are all nice and toasty warm and this makes me feel relaxed and pleasant, which is never an easy thing.
Maybe that's been my problem all of this time...uncomfortable feet. If I'd only had the fuzzy socks, I would have been a much better person.

Drunk much?

So, I was recently informed by a co-worker that I gave everyone I work with a scare yesterday because I had fallen asleep at my desk and could not be roused. For a brief second I was embarassed...and then I thought...fuck you all! I don't owe you an explanation! Out of 5+ years that I have worked at this office, one day I decide that I'm tired (and drunk) and have to take a catnap? Stay out of my business!

Busybody losers suck. Even if they legitimately care about you.


I'm drunk at work in celebration of the New Year. Is that a bad thing?