Wednesday, January 19, 2005

A drunk and a drunk walk into a liquor* store...

I still can't decide who's the biggest alcoholic:

Drunk # 1: Excuse me, do you know where the Tanqueray is?

Drunk # 2 (Me): Are you looking for gin or vodka?

Drunk # 1: Um.....

Drunk # 2: Green or white?

Drunk # 1: Green

Drunk # 2: The gin is over there.

*Please note: In the south, you do not walk into a liquor store. You walk into a "package" store because the Bible belt is run by Baptists who feel that alcohol is the tool of the devil (which it may very well be). Also note: in some states in the south, you don't even walk into a "package" store. You just drive around aimlessly looking for a big red dot on the front of a building which serves as a beacon to those sinners who feel the need to indulge. Much like visiting a house of "ill-repute" in the olden days, which also favoured a big red light (or scarlet "A" if you will) , you do feel a bit dirty after your transaction is complete.


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