Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Note to self

Dear Madison: Clean your house. No...seriously dude, your house needs to be cleaned. We are bordering on an A&E investigation where they are looking for dead bodies in the trash that is your life, so wash some fucking dishes, okay? I mean, before Bill Kurtis shows up at your pad and everything. Puppylicious is no excuse for not at least attempting to give the impression that you are not an irresponsible drunk who spends all of her time watching "In Demand" movies on her Comcast cable and drinking litres of vodka. Oh, and the Xmas decorations? Take them down already! Your neighbours are so about to come after you with pitchforks and torches. They are not happy. They do not care that you enjoy the warm glow of your Xmas tree and it gives you comfort to plug it in every night; they are seriously about to come and kick your ass and banish you from the neighbourhood block party. I'm just sayin'. And you might want to think about paying your phone bill because in the meantime, that alarm system that you put in for nothing because you don't own anything worth anything, is totally not working. Oh, and pay your mortgage. I don't care that you don't have any stamps, fucking get some. Because if nothing can sit in your cheap ass rundown house knowing you have a roof over your head...even if you don't have a phone...or electricity...or heat...or water. It's all good, shorty. We'll get through it.


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